My Initial Contact E-Mail

I learned a huge lesson over the past few weeks on the importance of the format of the initial contact e-mail. Short and sweet is way better than trying to personalize or give an explanation. I learned this hard way, wasting valuable time and giving up the opportunity to meet amazing new people! 


Several weeks ago, I sent out two waves of e-mails to alumni. The first wave my e-mail was tailored to the individual and had an explanation of what I was looking for, either a role in Private Equity, or if they were in Investment Banking, financial sponsorship / project sponsorship. Crafting these e-mails took a lot of effort because I looked up the person on LinkedIn, and based my e-mail on their profile. This was also the exact advice that a career coach gave me, and my e-mails were based on a sample in a leading career search book. After about 20 of them over 4-5 hours, and realizing that I had about 20 left to go, I went with a much shorter e-mail that wasn't really tailored. My response rate to the shorter e-mail has been amazing (like 15/20 of the people responded), as opposed to the longer e-mail where only 2/20 ever responded. 


So... huge lesson learned on two fronts (my time and response rate). Keeping it short is way faster to get out the door and also yields more results. If the job trail goes cold, I will have to go back to those initial contacts and try the shorter e-mail for my second touch. But, on that note, it is unlikely, I now have made some good connections and have some meetings with some big folks in big firms over the next couple of days!!! 


- BSM 


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SHORT E-MAIL EXAMPLE (SUCCESSFUL) 

Subject: Introduction / Chat 

Hi XXX, 

I am reaching out to alumni after completing my MBA; looking for finance and investment banking opportunities, and want to make some new connections. It is also nice to meet other alumni and Canadians in NYC. Are you free for a chat or coffee this week or next? 

Cheers - BSM  

Brian Spencer Martin, PE, MBA
www.linkedin.com/in/brianspencermartin
strategygrowth.blogspot.com
www.motiv808.com
www.strategygrowth.com

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LONGER E-MAIL SAMPLE (FAILURE)

Subject: Introduction / Chat

Hi XXX, 

 

I recently completed my MBA through Queen's and came across your name on the alumni directory. I am currently looking to move forward with my career in the IT or energy sectors of private equity / venture capital. I was an engineer and manager directly in the industry prior to doing my MBA. 

Based on your profile, you seem like you have had some success working in private equity. I was wondering if we could have a brief telephone chat or coffee this week or next, so I could brainstorm with you some other local companies that are great employers and might have interesting opportunities. It is also nice to connect with fellow alumni and Canadians in NYC. 

 

Let me know either way, and I understand if you can't connect because this is a busy time. My contact information is below and the linkedin profile gives a bit of my background. 

Yours truly, 

Brian Spencer Martin, PE, MBA
www.linkedin.com/in/brianspencermartin
strategygrowth.blogspot.com
www.motiv808.com
www.strategygrowth.com